Farshmak   04 марта 2009,

мдя, написано неплохо, даже хорошо.... но все ты рассказы пишешь короткие... вроде неплохо получается... соберись и напиши один хороший длинный рассказ, или удлиняй остальные свои произведения, а то слишком уж они короткие...

IceBerg   04 марта 2009,

- НЕ ПО РУССКИ РАЗЛИВАТЬ НА ЧЕТВЕРЫХ 200 ГРАММ ВОДКИ!!! ("русский по паспорту и состоянию души"???????)
- "Гости сняли пальто, сложили их холодильник" - ЧЕГО??? :)
- НАИВНЫЙ РАССКАЗ. ФИНАЛ ИЗВЕСТЕН ЧИТАТЕЛЮ ЗАРАНЕЕ.
- КОНЦОВКА ПУТАЕТ ЧИТАТЕЛЯ!

IceBerg   06 марта 2009,

ЕЩЁ ТОТ БУХАРЬ

Стеценко   06 марта 2009,

Отлично. Но... в который раз, хочется спросить: - а для чего это писалось? Дело не в количестве страниц. Просто, с таким подходом к делу, Вы рискуете прослыть мастером эпизода... и не более. Как в кино, король второго плана.

Feanor   07 марта 2009,

Трагедия в финале, молодец! Коротко ясно и лаконично только с перечислением закусок и выпивки ты затянул...

З.Ы. перед этим рассказом прочитал ваш рассказ завтрак - что вызвает определенные ассоциации ....)))))

Аркадий   04 апреля 2009,

Так забавно, но так банально... :)

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